Behind every great man...

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 16:45:11 GMT

From the private journal of Bellatrix Black

Planning a wedding is inordinately tedious. I must make sure to send out all the appropriate invitations soon, at the very least.

Rodolphus agrees with me that we should make our wedding a small, intimate affair, and leave the pomp and circumstance to Narcissa. We have much larger fish to fry, and she will enjoy being the center of attention, for once, without being outshone by her older sister. I for one don't care much what her feelings on the subject are, but given the revelations that must be made to her once she's wed, I think it advisable that she be well mollified in advance. Drunk on champagne and attention will certainly help, too.

I hope Lucius knows what he's doing. Cissy is highly-strung (not to mention a spoiled, selfish, willful brat, but that's neither here nor there), and if he doesn't handle her properly she may well throw a tantrum and do something foolish which we'd all regret. I suppose I must simply trust to Lucius' good judgment, and be ready to pick up the pieces if she comes running to me. I don't relish the thought of having to take action against my own sister, even though I will if I have to: blood will tell.

I am grateful that the Dark Lord realizes what sacrifices I'm making for Him. I have agreed to help Rodolphus secure a higher position in the Ministry of Magic. He may well end up being one of liaisons between the wizarding world and the Muggle one, of all the ironies. But the Dark Lord has said he needs a trustworthy spy there, and Rodolphus, plodding though he may be in many respects, is certainly very good at what he does. I suppose it's because he looks so very ordinary.

With a little training, perhaps I can make him into something extraordinary. The Dark Lord sees something in him, so there must be something I am missing. I wish I had the insight of our Master in such matters, but I cannot hope to come close to his brilliance. He knows people better than they know themselves, can see into their very souls...

How disappointing

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 14:51:50 GMT

From the private journal of Bellatrix Black

I don't want to get married ~~to Rodolphus~~. It's far too early, and besides, I honestly thought that I would be marrying someone else. Someone Else, really. I knew a long time ago that Cissy was earmarked for the Malfoy bloodlines. They'll look good together, that much is certain, and the children will be pretty. I wonder if Malfoy has told her of our involvement with the Dark Lord. I expect not. We were all told to keep it quiet and low-key until we could be sure she wouldn't open her mouth at the wrong time. Mind you, we may be underestimating her. I expect she'll find out sooner rather than later, maybe after she marries Malfoy. I almost envy her. The Malfoys, while I suppose they're new money, are well-to-do, and the man looks as though he has his wits about him. Poor Rodolphus has all the backbone of a spavined jellyfish, although the bloodlines of the Lestranges are older.

I just thought that, given my position, I would have had something, well, grander reserved for me. Right now I feel like a brood mare, good for nothing except producing little Black babies. I did so want something more than that...

I suppose someone has to produce a line of descendance for the family. I'm not sure Reggie even knows what to do with a woman, and although Sirius definitely knows what to do with women, he doesn't count anymore. Cissy's husband-to-be is obviously keen on having his own heir. I won't even bother mentioning Andromeda. We all know what's going on there. I'd roll my eyes, except that if I did that every time she did something incomprehensible I think my eyes would stay stuck permanently in the back of my head.

Rodolphus certainly seems pliable enough. I expect he won't mind if our children carry the Black name instead of Lestrange. I don't mind changing mine, if He asks it of me. He has said that the Lestranges are important to His plans, and so I suppose that I must simply do this in order to serve Him better. It doesn't mean He cares less for me. It just means that I, as His loyal servant, must act in accordance with His wishes in order for His plans to be carried out properly. May Jupiter strike me down if I am ever the cause of difficulties for the Lord.

Besides, He has already reassured me of His love. Sometimes even the strongest bonds must be sacrificed in order to reach our highest ideals. I shall enter into this with my eyes open, but my heart closed. It's not as though Rodolphus will ever know the difference.

I am sad, though. Just a little bit. My last dreams from when I was a little girl, of being royal consort, are gone now, dashed against the rocks of grim reality. Perhaps, one day, in an ideal world, I shall make my own dream come true.

Gamma Orionis

Behind every great man...

How disappointing